Why do we hoard, what needs to change, and why does it matter?

Human beings are creatures of habit, and this applies to our relationship with possessions as well as our daily cuppa or favourite telly programme.

Some of us tend to hold onto things, even if they no longer serve any practical purpose or value in our lives.

In extreme cases, this behaviour can escalate into hoarding, where large quantities of possessions are amazed that can often disrupt the lives of the hoarder and of those around them.

So, why do people hang onto things and hoard?

Often, it stems from a combination of psychological, emotional, and social factors.

1.           Emotional attachment

Possessions can hold a great deal of emotional value for people, especially those with sentimental or nostalgic attachments to certain items.

For example, a person may hold onto a childhood toy or a piece of clothing that reminds them of a loved one who has passed away.

These items can provide a sense of comfort and security, and letting go of them can feel like losing a part of oneself.

I am sure you can think of examples in your own life of some objects or possessions that are dear to you.

Finding your own acceptable boundaries with the amount of possessions you are happy to keep is a personal thing. I always recommend no more than a shoe box of items - any more than that, and it becomes unwieldy to manage, and the slippery slope towards hanging onto things begins.

In my book, ‘The CLEAR Method: The Easy Way To Declutter the Chaos and Find Your Sparkle’ I have laid out some suggested daily check-ins to keep on top of clutter, and to be consciously aware of the items you are choosing the keep in your space.

Everything is energy, and by holding onto things that are attached to emotions your whole energy field is affected, too. It’s woo, I know, but true. Trust me.

2.           Fear of loss

Another reason people might hang onto things is a fear of loss.

This can manifest in a few different ways - some people might hold onto possessions as a way of maintaining control over their lives, while others may worry that letting go of something will cause them to miss out on opportunities in the future.

For some, the fear of losing an item can be so strong that they begin to hoard, collecting large quantities of possessions as a way of protecting themselves from perceived losses.

This can also come from a make do and mend mentality, or from growing up in scarcity.

The propensity to collect things can so often come from not having enough, so the need to collect and keep things “just in case” becomes heightened.

It can also be difficult to say no to hand me downs, gifts or second hand items during a time of need.

Often there is a fear of upsetting anyone who is offering the items or support, and the accumulation becomes worse.

 In ‘The CLEAR Method: The Easy Way To Declutter the Chaos and Find Your Sparkle’ you will meet one of my clients who was holding onto her wedding dress - she never wore it as her wedding was cancelled when her Dad became ill.

He passed away, and the dress became a symbol of loss. Over time, she was able to face the cupboard she had locked away the dress (and the loss) in, and could declutter her thoughts, energy and space.

3.           Perceived value

This is very much linked to the fear of loss and scarcity.

Some people may hang onto things because they believe that the items have significant monetary or practical value.

This can include collectibles, antiques, or other items that are believed to appreciate in value over time. A reluctance to let go of possessions can stem from a belief that they will be worth more in the future, which may or may not be true.

Keeping a stock of items to sell with intention can be a really difficult one - unless they are actually being sold, the perceived value is never realised, and the items simply carry on taking up physical and energetic space. 

Again, staying aware of what is in your places and spaces and setting up a regular way to check in with belongings helps to keep clutter to a minimum.

4.           Mental health issues and trauma

Hoarding itself is a disorder and mental health condition that can cause individuals to accumulate large quantities of possessions, often to the point where their living spaces become unusable.

The need to collect and amass clutter can often be linked to other mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, and can be a way for individuals to cope with underlying emotional or psychological issues.

Trauma is often a trigger for someone to start collecting belongings and finding it hard to let go.

Events such as death, divorce, illness, or other difficult life experiences can exacerbate a tendency to hold onto objects.

There are many reasons why people hang onto things and hoard, and it is often a complex combination of factors that drive this behaviour.

Having compassion for others (and ourselves), and understanding the reasons why we can be vulnerable to hoarding can be a key factor in beginning to let go of the need to collect and store things.

There is no shame around collecting clutter and hoarding.

Humans are complex beings, and hoarding is simply a behaviour that stems from the need to cope in tough situations.

Creating a healthier relationship with possessions, places and spaces is so important when it comes to finding momentum in life.

It’s not surprising to know that the person who is stuck in a house that doesn’t function due to clutter will not be living life in the way they want to.

Getting CLEAR starts with awareness, compassion, and a helping hand.

To get started on clearing your own spaces, ‘The CLEAR Method: The Easy Way To Declutter the Chaos and Find Your Sparkle’ is a great place to begin.

Carolyn x